a blog launched to laugh at my own expense

My 24karat Birthday

To my disappointment, my 24karat birthday did not bring me a life size gold statue of myself or any other form of jewelry. But then giving me jewelry is like leaving your phone on the bus; its pretty much gone forever. When I think about all of the jewelry I've lost, I get cold sweats and then immediately make myself think something else... like how hungry I am.  

Speaking of hunger, should we talk about my surprise work birthday party? It was Hello Kitty themed and my ten year old Asian tween self has never felt more accepted. My colleagues were VERY worried about me dropping the cake. Apparently some have varying degrees of PTSD from my daily doses of excitable enthusiasm. But the cake and my white summer shift survived my staged photo shoot. You know what they say... "If you don't Instagram it, it didn't happen." Well at least, that is what I say. 

In an effort to celebrate my 24 year old self, I invited twelve girlfriends to Rehoboth Beach. The first response was,"Wait. Only if your parents are there..."  Once I confirmed that my parents would in fact be hosting, everyone confirmed and a hashtag of #WeLoveJandA was designated for the weekend. This only re-iterated my theory that J and A are the only reason I have made or maintained any friendship since 1991.

 Girls' Weekend, dressed in her uniform of white jeans and wedges, was so bae. And not just because this large concentration of live Instagram followers made my process of soliciting/accosting for  'Likes' easier than normal. It was officially Girls' Weekend when...

1. Once all conversations pertaining to the Greek Debt Crisis have been exhausted, the second and final topic of  three-day discussion is.... 'boys'. Conversations range from any of the follow subtopics: boys, boyfriends, boy's boyfriends, current boyfriends, ex-boyfriends, current ex-boyfriends etc. If for some reason you were unaware of your current male-less-ness, the profuse weekend dialogue will remind you.

2. The refrigerator is stocked with more lettuce than Bunnicula's lair. But make absolutely NO mention of the the nine large pepperoni pizza pies that were consumed but not calorically accounted for. Everyone knows that ANY calories consumed between the hours of 10:00pm and 3:00am do not count. Period. 

3. The Beach House blows a fuse. What else would happen when nine blow dryers are blow drying simultaneously?

4. Someone, (probably me/definitely me), is about to, currently, or has just finished crying. Like I couldn't even mange blowing out my birthday candles without a torrential tear down pour. 

5. You have instructed your parents in a crash course on iPhone Photography. Someone needs to be responsible for documenting your posed #candids. Key lesson plan components are a.)Make sure everyone's chin/chins are down and arms are skinny b.) Always something that will make picture participants laugh and c.) Take at least 45 pictures per pose and each photo shoot requires at least seven poses.  #WeLoveJandA

Never in my life have I been this old. Like ever. And even though I am not doing as well as other 24  year-olds like Soulja Boy or J.Law ... at least I remembered to unplug my hair straightener this morning. And that is a lot better than most of my 23 year-old mornings.  


1 comment

  1. I feel so honored to be part of your blog post!!!
    i love you my little kitty!