a blog launched to laugh at my own expense

Planning a Pineapple Prom

I wouldn't describe myself as "understated." In fact, depending on who you ask, they might say "overstated" is an understatement. So in my true fashion of constantly celebrating myself, I decided my 25th birthday party needed to usher in my quarter life crisis in style.

I decided my 25th babeday party should be a redo of my 15th year of life. You see... when I was 15, no one (girl or boy) invited me to prom. And I, Sarah B. Kitten Keating, believe that my "never have I attended prom" has had residual effects on my life. So I decided that this year's annual celebration of myself was the perfect opportunity to right this wrong inflicted upon me by the prom gods of the high school universe.

My Pineapple Prom Party planning started in February when I was on vacation with my best friend in Mexico, as we sat in the hot tub drinking a particularly strong marg. (** Important Detail: My birthday is in July, so the "planning" started 6 months out and by "planning" I mean... I started braining storming the Instagram captions and potential hashtags).

Step 2: Facebook event. I invited 50 people to J and A's summer beach cottage (that only sleeps 8 people) with the full expectation that at least 48 people would decline.

Step 3: Had 48 of 50 invitees accept.
Step 4: Called J and A to tell them that this birthday's agenda involved hosting 48 people at the beach cottage (that only sleeps 8 people).
Step 5: Cried loudly when J and A did the math of # of people vs # of beds outloud for me.
Step 6: Drank another marg.

There I was... in Mexico... sobbing somewhat loudly... with a sunburn and a slight margarita induced headache with the best idea but no budget or prom planning experience. So I did what I've been doing for the past year: called bae.

He said. "BEST IDEA. LOVE IT. LOVE YOU. WE ARE DOING IT!" I cried again but this time the good kind of tears and I told him he could have 50% of the Guest List if he subsidized 100% of the budget for my pre-existing paper product addition.

And quick as kittens, I was back on track. Pineapple Prom had a name, vision, hashtag, color theme, and was officially a 'Go!!!’

Step 7: Got busy making the paper invitations. Snail mail is so trendy. #ThrowBack to the 19th century. #1916 is the new 2016

Step 8. Spent the next 6 months "planning" and by "planning" I mean buying every kind of flamingo and pineapple decorations I could find and giving no thought to any other imperative details like if it was even possible to purchase enough 30 racks of America to libate 15 full grown semi-retired frat starts.

Step 9: Realized it was July.
Step 10: Cried loudly when I did the math of how many days until Pineapple Prom. (The answer was 4 days).
Step 11: Asked Mom for her Amazon Prime Password. She told me I couldn't buy food for 38 people on Amazon.
Step 12: Bought MORE flamingo accessories but this time with Amazon Prime (which is actually like the best thing ever! 2 day shipping? LOVE it).

Step 13:  Realized there were only 46 hours until first car arrived.
Step 14:  Had A inform me that she was considering changing the Amazon Prime password.
Step 15:  Had A ask me "What is everyone going to eat? You cannot feed them paper products." ** I think I cried again at this step.
Step 16:  Asked bae if he knew how to make a grocery list.
Step 17: Fell more in love with bae as I Snapchatted him pulling two grocery shopping carts.

Step 18: Deleted all of my iPhone apps so I would have enough storage to take 200 more selfies.
Step 19: Decorated the two rented houses.

Step 20: Cried again when everything came together #prom-perfectly thanks to bae, J and A, my best babes.  Kitten paws down, my favorite part of the "planning a Pineapple Prom" process? Partying like it was 2008.

Even our family dog was THRILLED to be included:

Obviously, I rigged the ballot box to make sure I won Prom Princess. Luckily for my guests, I sparred them my previously rehearsed, 45 minute acceptance speech:

Jim, with his custom Pineapple Prom henna tattoo, secured the highly coveted role of Prom Prince: 

You know what they say.... Pineapple Prom isn't over until the Pineapple Prom Princess passes out. (Note the inflated pineapple float behind the chair):

Was it a successful prom night? Just ask our front lawn.... because it looks like she had the time of her life:

Looks like this 'mingo was the last one standing:


1 comment

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