a blog launched to laugh at my own expense

Did I Just Peak?

I am concerned I am peaking. Not physically since my natural hair color is still brown and I am 130 pounds away from my goal weight of being Kate Moss, but in a "personal development" aspect, I am straight up P-E-A-K-I-N-G. Here is the thesis statement of why:

I am peaking because bae is still calling me back even though I call upwards of 47 times a day* and I am going back to school to pursue my passion while also punching the part time time card at my favorite company.

*47 phone calls a day may be an exaggeration but not far off. Here is a screen shot of my most recent calls within a 2 hour time span

But ANYWAY... what passion am I going back to school for since neither talking about myself or taking selfies are viable career paths? Interiors Design. Much to my parents’ chagrin, I have loved interior design since I was old enough to heave their vintage, velvet, claw-footed couch across the restored hardwood floor, gashing their beloved colonial home. There was also a time when I felt like J and A’s blue and white striped couch would be better if it was solid green in color, so I decided to take one of my Crayola markers to it. However, I either got distracted or ran out of indelible ink before I  finished coloring the whole couch. Either way, that Christmas, Santa gave me a dollhouse and J and A mandated that my dollhouse furniture was the only furniture I was allowed to move for the next ten years.

So ten plus years later, after designing and then begging bae to hang my umpteenth gallery wall, I had a vision.

My VISION was to pitch HGTV that bae and I should have a TV show based on the premise that a city girl teaches a man from Maine that real men have pink x-benches in their entry ways and the Maine man teaches the girl how to tackle challenging home improvement projects like how to use a tape measure. This idea never made it to HGTV because, while watching the playback of my casting tape film, I realized that my incredibly long face made me look more horse-like and less like an aspiring interior designer. With the vision of an HGTV show immediately eliminated from my future, I considered an idea that didn't require my abnormally long face be filmed: Go to Design School.

I called J and A and told them my latest vision. I'm not sure they initially took this vision seriously since previous visions have included needing to move to London tomorrow and thinking I had an eighth sense BUT NEXT THING YA KNOW my design portfolio is accepted to the master's program at GWU.  

I know. I KNOW!! It is either a miracle or they sent the email to the wrong Sarah Keating, but either way, bae bought out the entire GWU book store to celebrate.

And guess what is ACTUALLY the best part is..... my brother will be a freshman!

Guess who is more excited about sharing a campus? Me or my 18 year old brother. I will give you a hint..... It is not my 18 year old brother. Pictured below is his re-action when I told him the amazing news. He literally took a nose dive into the pillows and tried to bury his face. So I think that means he is SUPER excited!!!

And then, as if being campus mates with my baby brother while pursuing my passion isn’t peaking enough, my current company, WeddingWire, is not making me relinquish my vinyl throne or what I refer to as Kitten's Corner.

Literally working for WeddingWire is one of the best things to happen to me since....  since like learning to cook with the microwave. My love affair started the same way most successful love stories start: stalking.

Once upon a summer day, I was a Kate Spade Store when I this saw this beautiful and obviously successful twenty something year-old girl who was buying a dress. I got close enough to eavesdrop, but far enough away to prevent myself from getting arrested. In my skillful stalking, I deduced that she worked for a company called 'WeddingWire". I immediately went home, googled WeddingWire, found the careers page, applied, interviewed, accepted, moved to DC and then introduced myself to the girl I skillfully stalked.

Guess who was SUPER excited about our first official meeting? Me or her? I’ll give you a hint.... her first reaction wasn't "excited".

So here I am three years later.... working for a company I am literally obsessed with. J and A say I would pay to work for WeddingWire. Can you blame me? WeddingWire provides free breakfast, open bar, casual dress, unlimited vacation time, let me invent my idea for a Wedding Monogram Generator, provided TWO interns, and allowed me to have the official email address of kitten@weddingwire.com. Current obsession with WW? They are letting me go part time so I can pursue a master's degree in a subject irrelevant to my current marketing position. LIKE HELLO!! Hashtag OBSESSED with hashtag WeddingWire!!!

Even though McDonald's hasn't asked me to be their official spokesperson yet, Anthropologie bedding is still overpriced, and my eyebrows are still uneven.... I really might be peaking in all other "personal development" aspects of the word.

But then I look in the mirror when I wake up and realize.... I am very far from peaking. Let's just hope bae keeps answering my phone calls.

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