a blog launched to laugh at my own expense

Should You Invite Me Skiing?

Are you considering inviting me on your next ski trip? You might regret that invitation if you answer "No, Never, or Absolutely Not" to any of the following questions:

  1. Will you be paying for my lift ticket?
  2. Are we related?
  3. Is an hour of skiing a day too much for you?
  4. Do you agree that complaining about the cold actually makes you warmer and is the best way to handle the cold?
  5. Do you support beer breaks?
  6. Will you commit to participating in at least sixty daily selfies?
  7. Will you agree to wear matching sweaters with me for the duration of the trip?

  8. Is fur your favorite piece of ski equipment?
  9. Is Lisa VanderPump your ski icon?

  10. Do you use Ski Patrol toboggan as your own ride service down the mountain?
  11. In the last year, has your significant other ever tried to drop you off at Kid’s Camp or Children’s Ski School?
  12. Does your experience at a given ski resort depend solely upon their signature hamburger? For example, after 20 plus years of skiing, Deer Valley remains my favorite place to ski because of the Stein Eriksen Lodge's burger.
  13. Do you agree to tell me, “Helmet hair looks great on you?”
  14. When I fall off the chair lift, will you accompany me to the hospital?

My father says, "I have to take Sarah everywhere twice. The second time is to apologize." So if you answered “No”, “Never”, or  “Absolutely Not” to at least one of the above questions, then please don’t invite me skiing with you. However, I would be happy to accept your LinkedIn invitation instead.


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