a blog launched to laugh at my own expense

Losing My Passport Hours Before International Departure

There are two types of trip-taking luggage packers. There is the prepared type A packer who is packed with their passport perfectly placed on top of their suitcase a week before departure.  And then… there is the Hail Mary packer who just prays they remembered to pack clean underwear.

Guess what kind of traveler I am? My packing style has been described as manic. I have been known to hold my dirty laundry basket in my suitcase and pray my destination has a washing machine. Once, I only packed white dresses for a destination wedding and, another time, I only packed a sticky boob bra for a overnight hiking trip.

So it should come as no surprise that the morning before I was scheduled to fly to Ireland, I realized I had no idea where my passport was. As the 24 hours closed, I hysterically admitted to myself that the passport was lost. LIKE LOST LOST. There was no way I was going to find it. I decided to do what all grown ups do…started sobbing and called my mother.

My mom (who I call “A”) isn’t like a regular mom…A is a superhero. If you are ever stranded on a deserted island, A will have you off the island faster than you can spell ‘Coconut.’ She is like MacGyver & Clark Kent & Amal Clooney all rolled into a beautiful, blonde haired, blue eyed package. She is a joyful, spirited, fun loving, legitimately incredible woman who heads an internationally renowned company, a founder of HostageUS, and a somewhat competitive athlete. There are quite a few people who have made my mother their first call when they have lost their passports. So I called A.

5 hours later, I had a new passport. And 18 hours later, I am flying to Ireland. Please note the highlighted issue date on my passport of April 23rd and the highlighted departure date of April 24 on my plane ticket.

I know you must be asking yourself... "Wait ... WHAT? HOW did you get a new passport that fast?" And let me just reiterated how LEGIT my mother is. But what is not legit? My new passport photo.

I was pretty sure I couldn't look worse than my previous passport but per usual... I stood corrected. If I ever convince someone to marry me, I am going to need a new passport or my new husband won’t want to leave the country with me.

With my new passport in my possession, A calmly asked me how I was going to prevent this from happening in the future. (Which is the question my parents always ask me when I make careless and expensive mistakes like when I drove a car into a parking lot pylon, or when I flooded an upstairs bathroom because I forgot to turn off the faucet, or when I opened a car door into another oncoming car, leaving our car door completely unhinged and the other car damaged).

I told A that one day I will mature into the prepared and situationally aware type of grown up who knows where their passport is located at all times. But until that happens, I promised to start the passport finding process much earlier... so I have more time to get a better passport photo.


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