a blog launched to laugh at my own expense

Monogrammed Mock Turtlenecks

I wouldn’t normally take fashion advice from a man who proudly admits to having worn elastic waist suit pants at the age of twenty five. However, one of Matty’s closet staples has grown on me lately. Don’t worry… I haven’t shape shifted into a 200 pound man… merely the concept (and not the actual size) of one of his closet staples has become a favorite of mine:

Monogram mock turtlenecks. 

Though I cannot technically speak from personal experience, I can make an educated guess that the fashion industry isn’t waiting with baited breath for L.L.Bean’s winter collection. But it should. 

Here is why monogrammed mock necks should be the 2019 trend of the year:

1. Wearing a monogram is a great way to combat any form of amnesia related to remembering your own initials. It is hard to forget them when they are stitched into a cotton band around your neck! 

2. You don’t need to wear a necklace when your monogram is already around your neck*.*Except if your initials are the same as a less than ideal acronym like DUI… in which case, you probably shouldn’t ever wear your monogram. 

3. Monogrammed mock turtlenecks is a trend the whole family can get behind. My grandmother much prefers wearing a mock neck to a crop top.

4. Since this trend isn’t mainstream (yet) you do not have to worry about L.L.Bean being backordered. Plus L.L.Bean carries every size, all the way up to Paul Bunyan.  

5. Matching monogrammed turtlenecks make the best wedding gifts. I honestly can’t wrap my head around why more couples are not registering from them.

Outside of the concept of flannel, I don’t know of any other fashion-related contributions the state of Maine has made to American wardrobes. However, I would sign my initials to a petition stating that the most a-maine-zing thing to come out of the state with two seasons ( “4th of July & Winter” - according to Matty’s father) is L.L.Bean’s monogrammed mock neck turtleneck. 

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